Posting Notes

Posting Notes: In post title, please use this format: Title - Prompt Name (if applicable) - Author Name, then repeat in "Labels" at bottom of post. Post longer pieces under a jump break. Thanks!

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Little Clove - Amanda A. Arcieri

A flower, so pure-
So innocently sweet,
Awakens the senses;
Quickens the heart's beat.

A deep blue sea
Stirs with passion-
My soul, my being
Drown in waves, crashing,

That by your spirit
Rise yet higher,
And in their embrace,
Serve to inspire

Angelic treasures:
Latent, but ever present;
Quiet, yet ever watchful
For your smile, so pleasant.


  1. Amanda, welcome! Thanks for posting!

    I'm just going to get something out of the way here: Ooooooooooooooooo pretty colors...

    Great piece here. You hint at a lot of things without ever giving anything away straight off, which is what good poetry is supposed to do. The two colors you posted in add an interesting dimension: to me, it seems like they're two different voices speaking to each other. Without the color difference, I don't know that I would have picked up on it. Also, you used your medium: you can't do multiple colors on a page (without extra money to the publisher) but you can on a blog! Well done!

    I like that there's all this very dramatic, beautiful imagery, and the big climax of the poem just comes to a smile. Rather than being anticlimactic, it gives a lot of power to something very simple, but which can be everything if its the right person smiling!

    This poem is very relaxed on the rhyming and the cadence, which I think helps the tone of it a lot: the point you're stressing is the imagery and the emotions, not the rhyme scheme and the technicalities. Its a good choice for this.

    The one image I'm stumped on is "Angelic treasures." Everything else in the piece is concrete, solid images, this one is more cerebral. I like the turn of phrase, its interesting, but it sticks out. If its intending to stick out, great, if not, another phrase might be a better choice. I could also just be missing the point of the image (I haven't read real poetry in forever and so this is likely)so if that's the case, don't mind me!

    This is my first time really responding to poetry in ages: thank you so much for posting poetry up here, we've had a bit of a long train of sci-fi and fantasy on here- thanks for mixing it up! Looking forward to more

  2. Hi Rich!

    Thank you so much for the wonderful compliments. Honestly, I never expect such a deep interpretation from my readers, so I must say, I am pleasantly surprised that you analyzed it so thoroughly, and I am very grateful for your doing so.

    The colors were there initially because I couldn't figure out how to format it in a way that separates the stanzas. Trying everything (so I thought), and ultimately giving up, I chose two colors that I thought best represented this poem, and decided to "color code" the stanzas instead. It was only after I read your recent post ("Third Poem") that I went back, determined to separate them the way I had intended (and succeeded this time). Still, I see what you mean. I have another pair of poems that I'd like to post in the future that I have color coded specific lines on purpose for the very reason you gave (to emphasize either of the two different voices in both poems).

    "Angelic treasures" is a phrase that I often use when describing romantic feelings. I don't like to write something that is blatantly erotic, so by referring to physiological arousal and related content as "heavenly treasures" or "angelic treasures," I feel like I get around saying the obvious, and without sounding dirty.

    However, the issue of combining concrete with abstract images in my poetry has come up more than once. It's something that I'm conscientious of and I'm trying to change (for the sake of consistency throughout the poem).

    In any case, thank you for such a detailed analysis of my poetry, and I look forward to posting more as well as reading others' posts.

  3. My first thought was, 'wow so pretty'
    I'll try to be a bit more thorough than that.

    My favorite part about this poem is that you don't crowd it with words. The short lines and stanzas give it a sense of purity and simplicity that reflects the imagery. And the fact that you manage to convey so much in so little words shows a kind of mastery over your ability to inspire the emotion you want in the reader. I feel uplifted after reading this, like a breath of fresh air.

    Also, kudos on not using conjunctions to start your lines; a lot of poetry can get repetitive with beginning words.

    Beautiful poem.